


A dustland fairytale

by UpInOrbit



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, very implied sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 00:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15352101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UpInOrbit/pseuds/UpInOrbit
Summary: Johnny took a step back. Ten took a step towards him. His hand was extended for him, an open invitation.Johnny stared at his hand, unblinking, slowly shaking his head.





	A dustland fairytale

**Author's Note:**

> As you can see by the title, this was inspired by [A Dustland fairytale](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=froxEDdnouc), by The killers. It is more diluted than I first thought but it was what inspired me to write after a long drought so a big thanks to The killers for that. I hope you enjoy it ^^

“He seems like he’s having fun, right?”

Jaehyun’s low voice startled him, causing Johnny to jump, and almost drop his beer, as engrossed as he had being watching the people dancing. Or rather, one particular person.

“I guess so” he shrugged, bringing the bottle to his lips and having a sip, his eyes barely leaving his target.

He could feel Jaehyun’s gaze focused on, but he stubbornly ignored it, knowing that, sooner or later, his friend would talk, without needing any extra encouragement. He was right.

“You’ve been eyeing him since we got here. Well, you’ve been eyeing him since forever, that’s old news, but you haven’t looked anywhere else from the moment we got here. Are you ever going to do something about it?”

Johnny looked at his friend and raised his left eyebrow.

“I forgot whom I was talking to”, Jaehyun snorted.

“We came here to relax after finishing the exams, not so that I could completely destroy my friendship with Ten”, he angrily replied.

“You don’t know if that will happen”.

“I know it will”.

“So you’re just going to stay here, pinning, as he dances and has fun without you”.

“Sounds like a plan to me”, he said, taking a sip of his beer.

“A shitty one, if you ask me”.

“That’s why I’m not asking” was the answer.

Jaehyun smiled, resting his elbows on the counter behind them. They hadn’t had a definite route when the four of them left after the classes ended, and had ended up in that town by sheer luck. There was some kind of party that night at the town and they had decided to go out and have a nice time, which was why Ten was the one dancing and having fun. Johnny was sulking, and Jaehyun had made it his mission to cheer him up, while Doyoung waited for his boyfriend, which made Johnny feel even worse. 

“What will you do if any of these guys decide to dance with Ten, and Ten agrees? Maybe that one, who hasn't stopped looking at Ten since we came here" he said, talking about a guy that seemed to be mutering up the courage he needed to go talk to him. Johnny wasn't even surprised: Ten was always bright and beautiful, absolutely stunning, and when he danced, he could rival all the stars in the sky. "Will you be fine with that?”

Johnny gritted his teeth.

“Of course I won’t but Ten is his own free person, he can dance with whomever he wants. We’re not together, and even if we were, I don’t own him, no one does”.

“I know it, I just want to make sure you’ll be fine”.

Johnny looked at his friend. There was a restlessness to him and a glint in his eyes, which Johnny had seen before; both ended up in high pitched moans from behind locked doors, tousled hair and shit eating grins on Doyoung and Jaehyun’s faces when they finally left the room, neck and bodies covered in hickeys. Johnny had been expecting it, if he was being honest (there was only so much restrain one could exert, specially after the amount of teasing both of his friends had been doing, and neither Doyoung nor Jaehyun were that great at controlling themselves. He was only surprised it had taken them that long).

“Go”, he motioned towards Doyoung with his head. “You know you’re dying for it”.

Jaehyun shook his head, his eyes not once leaving his boyfriend.

“I can wait. This is more important”.

Johnny snorted.

“No you can’t and no it isn’t”.

“No one is going to die if I stay here a bit longer. And you know what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder”. That earned him a look of disbelief form Johnny.

“You are literally 5 meters apart. No heart grows fonder because of that”.

Jaehyun’s lips curled into a sly smile. 

“No but Doyoung may get desperate. And a desperate and eager Doyoung is always more fun…”

“Shut up, I don’t want to hear anything else. Go back to your boyfriend, I’ll be fine”.

“I’ll go, but you have to make a move, say something, anything! You’re stuck right know, and you can’t continue like this, trust me” his friend said, his voice grave yet gentle.

Johnny gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and he knew Jaehyun was aware of that, but before he said anything, he pushed his friend towards his boyfriend, encouraging him to go.

“I’ll be fine”, he smiled. “I promise I’ll do something”.

Jaehyun looked at him with a hint of sadness, as Johnny had long lost the ability to hide things from him.

“I really hope you do something before we all die of old age. I know you are scared, but you are truly stuck, and that’s smothering you, Johnny”.

Jaehyun got no response so he quickly finished his beer, squeezed Johnny’s shoulder and went straight to Doyoung, a predatory look in his eyes. The later was startled when he felt hands on his hips, but relaxed immediately when he saw who it was. They started dancing, but it was not too long before their dancing had turned into something much more heated, and they left, presumably to not be seen for the following twelve hours. Johnny felt a pang in his chest, a mixture of happiness for his both friends, who loved each other dearly, and jealousy, which he knew could only be blamed on him, for not having that same thing.

_Lovin’ you is like a fairytale_

Johnny couldn’t help the smiling bitterly when he listened to the lyrics of the song that was now playing. Even the music was clowning him, and, was there really he could do about it? He could probably find someone with whom to dance, maybe even make out, in the crowded square, but he also knew that would only make him feel worse in the morning, when his judgement wasn’t clouded, and he realised he had wasted yet another day. Instead he decided he would do what he’d been doing for longer than he could remember: nothing. He would stay where he was, watching from the sidelines, torturing himself with what he wanted but couldn’t have, for he was way to coward to risk what he did have.

_Now you’re gone, I can’t believe it_

The bottle was dangling from his fingers, but he slowly curved them along it’s neck, his grip turning iron, and threatening to breaking it. Ten was dancing to the song, apparently lost to the music, but his eyes were fixed on Johnny, not once leaving him. Their gazes were locked, the air around them heated, even with the distance between them. Ten’s gaze flickered briefly to his lips and Johnny unconsciously took a step towards him. 

_I hope you know I'm faded, all of this liquor I'm drinkin'_

_And if I'm takin' this the wrong way_

Maybe Jaehyun was right. Maybe he was stuck and he should do something. He didn’t want to lose the friendship Ten and him had but he couldn’t carry on like that. He was losing himself, had been almost since the beginning, when Ten had smiled brightly at him and he had felt the air knocked out of him. And maybe he would lose it and it would hurt, his heart broken in a million pieces, but maybe that was preferable to the state of perpetual heartbreak in which he was. And maybe, maybe, the risk would be worth it, and he would come out with something better.

He took another step towards Ten, and he could almost swear he saw his eyes light up, and the beginning of a smile on his lips. And then he saw him: the guy that had been eyeing Ten ever since they got there was making his way towards him, and Johnny felt his blood freeze in his veins. Ten followed his stare and quickly returned his eyes to Johnny. He thought he saw a plea in his eyes, but he was too far gone in his own head.

_When the moon hit your skin, I could see you and him_

_Not you and me, yeah_

What was he thinking? How could he possibly risk his friendship for something that was most likely only in his head? He loved Ten too much to lose him. He would be lost without him. He needed him by his side, even if it hurt to not be able to hold him like he wanted to. 

Johnny took a step back. Ten took a step towards him. His hand was extended for him, an open invitation.

Johnny stared at his hand, unblinking, slowly shaking his head.

_It's when you put me in the spotlight_

The other guy was there, trying to get Ten’s attention. Ten, whose eyes had yet to leave Johnny’s, as they filled with pain, because he, too, knew what was going on in Johnny’s head.

_When the sun shines above, you wake up with the one you love_

Maybe Ten would be fine without him, Johnny thought. That guy was exactly Ten’s type and even if it was just a brief fling, eventually Ten would find someone, someone better than Johnny, who would give him the Sun, the Moon, and all the stars in between, everything that Johnny wanted to give him but couldn’t. And it would hurt, but he would get over it, right? He had to. And even if he didn’t, did that really matter, as long as Ten was happy?

Johnny teared his eyes apart from Ten’s hand, only to have his heart broken by how sad Ten looked.

_Not you and me, yeah_

And he realised, he didn’t really want to leave. He didn’t want to know how it would feel to see Ten with someone else, someone with whom he’d do everything Johnny wanted to do but wasn’t allowed to. He wanted a life with Ten, as something more than a friend. And maybe it would be a disaster but at least he wanted to experience it. He didn’t want a life full of _what ifs_ and regrets, he wanted a life lived at it’s fullest, and that included risking it for Ten, because he was worth it, had always been worth it, Johnny had just been to stupid to see it. So he took Ten’s outstretched hand, and was rewarded with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

Ten looped his arms around Johnny’s neck, and he put his hands on the other man’s hips, and they danced, ignoring the music and the people around them, that dissolved into nothing.

“I really thought you were going to leave”, Ten whispered.

“I did, too”.

“I’m glad you didn’t”.

“I never thought you wanted me with you”.

Ten rested his head on Johnny’s chest and let out a chuckle.

“I’ve been in love with you for years, Johnny. Years. There was never a moment in which I didn’t want you with me”.

Johnny froze, his heartbeat impossibly loud. Ten’s fingers softly threaded through his hair, a light distraction.

“You never said anything” he muttered.

“Why would I, Johnny?” Ten lifted his head from Johnny’s chest, his voice growing serious. “I’ve been in love with you almost as long as we’ve been friends and I know you. I know you are intelligent and funny, and sweet and caring, and that you worry too much. I know you are a wonderful friend but also a terrible boyfriend” Johnny winced. He had been told that many times over the years, but it didn’t make it any less painful hearing it from Ten. “You are always there when someone else needs you and you let your friends be there for you but you close yourself to your boyfriends”.

_I never know what’s going on your mind, Johnny, and I can’t take it anymore_. Echoes of many voices saying those same words again and again resonated in his mind.

“I’ve then every time this happens. When you resort to your friends to talk to yet you don’t say a word to your boyfriend, as if they were going to think less of you for needing help, until you barely tell them anything anymore and you lose them. I’ve been there every time it happened and I didn’t want to go through that. I couldn’t. They never knew because you weren’t friends with most of them but I knew. I knew what it would do to me see it happen to myself. I always hoped you would stop doing that, even if that meant losing you to someone else, and I thought you had that with your last relationship, but you only managed to postpone it. It was like seeing a boat sink, watching it happen but unable to stop it”.

Johnny closed his eyes, breathing heavily. He knew what Ten was talking about, knew it was true. It had always made him feel horrible, but he couldn’t help it, no matter how hard he tried. 

“I always wanted to be with you, but not as your boyfriend, not if that meant losing my friend”, Ten whispered. “Plus, I didn’t think you felt the same way I did” he finished, with a small smile.

“Why now? What happened?”

Ten shrugged softly.

“I thought I saw something different in you these months. And I felt more capable of being with you, and not allowing you to close yourself to me. I thought you looked at me like I had been looking at you all this time”.

Johnny let out a short laugh. For all the mistakes he had done, all the failed relationships and wrong decisions, his last boyfriend had proved to be the best of them. Maybe without him he wouldn’t have realised what was going on with him. 

_I know you love me, Johnny, but loving someone and being in love with them isn’t the same. And as much as I would want to believe it, you are not in love with me_. Words that had ended a relationship that had never really had a real chance of developing, because Johnny’s heart had always belonged to someone else, even if he didn’t know. But Tae knew. And he was truly an angel sent from Heaven, who had stayed with him as a friend even after he broke things up between them, and had helped him see the truth to which he’d always been blind to: that he was in love with his best friend, had probably been for years, and he was just too stupid to realise.

“I love you, Ten, as whatever you want to be. I’m sorry it took me way too long to notice. I’m so sorry”.

Ten smiled.

“Don’t cry, love” he whispered, wiping away the tears Johnny hadn’t felt streaming down his face. “I always knew I’d have to wait for you, you big idiot”, he said, making Johnny laugh. “I love you more than I ever knew it was possible. Please, don’t ever stop being my best friend”, soft words spoken quietly that Johnny took to heart, promising himself and Ten that he wouldn’t let that happen.

“Never, Ten”.

Finally, their lips collided, feather-like touches at first, as they progressively got more heated. No words were needed when they broke apart for air, and went back to their room, with lighter hearts and twin smiles on their faces. 

**Author's Note:**

> So this is it. In case you didn't know, the lyrics I included [Spotlight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7K_lbglfI4), which I happened to be listening to while I wrote. I hope you enjoyed this. If anyone here happens to be reading my chaptered fic, I am really sorry for not updating but I haven't been inspired at all, I just hope I can write something after I come back from my trip.  
> Kudos and comments warm my heart and you can find me on my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/monstaruniverse) <3


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